Planning my next move

Today, I have my weekly day off and so as tomorrow. I sent out 23 CVs to another 2 companies "begging" for accounting jobs. As I place the mails into the mailbox in the Post Office, I start to think how many replies will I get before the end of next week. I sent 20 yesterday, 23 today.

What if I really won't get any job offers? I start to look at Masters courses today, maybe try to look at professional courses tomorrow. I counted the money I can earn and save before my visa expire by the end of August, I looked into the bank websites to see if they offer loans and how much do I need to pay back every month. University of Sunderland is still the cheapest in tuition fees if compared to others. The university's ranking in The Times is at number 81. I wonder if I take up MBA in University of Sunderland, will I able to get a job. Friends around me and university mates are taking up Masters one after another. It proves that Bachelors Degree is not sufficient at all nowadays. That is why I am thinking all over again that if I don't get a job offer, I'll take up a possible loan and continue to pursue a higher qualification.

I am going to the bank tomorrow to ask about the loan. If it is available for foreigners, I will surely go ahead with my plans to go further, if I don't get a job with work permit. Tough either way, but I will choose one. I am not ready to leave England yet!

Reflection

After a boring morning then suddenly get annoyed by someone in the afternoon, I reflected about myself.....

I found out that,

1. I'm stupid enough to interfere other people's business.
2. I lie to run away from something that I really don't know how to solve, but sometimes it just doesn't work.
3. My mood changes fast.
4. I try my best to be nice, but sometimes it just doesn't work, or I didn't do well enough?
5. I think that be nice to others can change my social life, but I'm too naive.
6. It is still far to get what I want as until now I still don't really know what I actually wanted.
7. I have a bad attitude of negativity about myself.
8. I think & worry too much.
9. I don't have a proper hobby to keep myself working on it. I don't have chance to work on my interest -- cars.

But after I read a blog post by Clement, it makes me feel better and I feel I really need to change the way I treat myself. I re-post what he wrote below. It's quite long, but it's meaningful.

Ten Commandments for Peace of Mind

1. Do Not Interfere In Others' Business Unless Asked.

Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others'
affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our
way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not
conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right
direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of
individuality and consequently the existence of God. God has created each
one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly
the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them
prompts them that way. There is God to look after everything. Why are you
bothered? Mind your own business and you will keep Your peace.

2. Forgive And Forget.

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill
feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We
nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of
stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done
once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly
remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Believe in the justice of God
and the doctrine of Karma. Let Him judge the act of the one who insulted
you. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive, Forget, and
march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition.

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without
selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but
no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and
will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yourself in
striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the
aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely and leave the rest to
God.

4. Do Not Be Jealous.

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You
know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but
sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several
years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business
is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday
life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody's life is shaped by
his or her previous Karma, which has now become his destiny. If you are
destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so
destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming
others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will
only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment.

If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you
will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do
this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will
mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured.

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day
we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents
that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we
must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them
cheerfully thinking, "God wills it so, so be it." God's plan is beyond
our comprehension. Believe in it and you will gain in terms of patience,
inner strength and will power.

7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew.

This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more
responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to
satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. Why take on additional loads that
may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your
external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in
prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in
your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater
peace of mind.

8. Meditate Regularly.

Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the
highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you
meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to
become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your
mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by
gradually increasing the period of daily mediation. You may think that
this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will
increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results
in less time.

9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant.

An empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil actions start in the
vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something
worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your
interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind.
Your hobby, like social work or temple work, may not always earn you more
money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even
when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or
mental chanting of God's name.

10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret.

Do not waste time in protracted wondering "Should I or shouldn't I?"
Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental
debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all
future happenings. Always remember, God has His own plan, too for you.
Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not
matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and
succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing.
Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET.
Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Take it as the
Will of God. You do not have the power to alter the course of God's Will.
Why cry over spilt milk?

------------------------------------

Congratulations if you finish reading it.

Thank God for sending me this article when I needed most.

I mustn't fail myself and fail those who have hopes on me.

Now sitting outside the house under the umbrella under the bright sun with wind blowing... 29'c temperature.... relaxing myself....

What an Interesting Day

Don't think that I had done anything special or whatever, I didn't do anything much today. Chatting mostly, go out do stuff for an hour then chat again. Well, I got an interesting story to share though.

Have you ever have that kind of experience where you love a person deeply then some other people love you deeply but not the one who you love? confusing? read few more times.

but hey, it's not happening on me k. Don't think too much.

Backstab

So today I'm reflecting on this word, backstab. Why the hell am I thinking about it? It's complicated. You might tell me that don't care what others say and just be myself, but it matters me as well. why? I backstab others as well, unfortunately. Now I'm thinking of how much harm had i made to others. Maybe someone out there is doing the same thing to me for the mistakes I had done as well... I wonder had someone had hated me before for knowing from others that I said something bad about them. Sorry for that and I mean it as I don't feel nice too when the same thing happen to me.

Just a thought. No offense to anyone yea. It's a free place to say how I feel right?

Reflect

Recently, I had been thinking about myself. Do I piss off anyone beside me? Do i keep joking about anyone's weakness in anything? like appearance, behaviour or anything else? I'm trying not to do this anymore. If I really did it unintentionally, I'm very sorry about it. I was thinking of how people beside me judge me. Maybe you can say don't take others' judgments and be yourself, but ones saying will affect another's confidence, maybe in some ways, or even directly. Those who keep joke about other's appearance and behaviour, have they think of how good are their own appearance and behaviour? For me, I thought of myself. That's why I start to not judge and joke about others' weaknesses and shorts, especially in front of many people. Maybe we can think that telling them is for their own good, yes I agree, but have to be in a right way. Nobody likes to be pin-pointed on their weaknesses in front of others even though it's the truth.

The feeling of being "stabbed" by others in front of others about their weaknesses is not nice. Maybe some can take it like a joke but some might not.

Think about it, how many times have you hurt someone's feelings beside you on their behaviour, appearance or anything else? I'm reflecting myself as well....

多多 Too Much

Yesterday I was chatting with someone, then suddenly we chat about that someone, whom I chat with. Of course, we chat in mandarin...

we conclude that, that someone (has).....

想多多 Think Too Much
怪癖多多 Too much Strange Habits
睡觉多多 Sleep Too Much
眼泪多多 Too Much Tears
吃饭多多 Eat Too Much Rice
控诉多多 Too Much (Many) Complaints
表情多多 Too Much (Many) Expressions
看片多多 Too Much (Many) Series

Well, who is that? I guess its not that hard to guess at all... anything to add into the list of too much?


Edit: Maybe... 笑容多多? kekekeke.....

Love 爱

Love is Patient,
Love is Kind.
It Does Not Envy,
It Does Not Boast,
It is Not Proud.

It is Not Rude,
It is Not Self-Seeking,
It is Not Easily Angered,
It Keeps No Record of Wrongs.

Love Does Not Delight in Evil but Rejoice with the Truth.

It Always Protects,
Always Trusts,
Always Hopes,
Always Perseveres.

Love Never Fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

爱是恒久忍耐, 又有恩慈.
爱是不嫉妒.
爱是不自夸.不张狂.
不作害羞的事.
不求自己的益处.
不轻易发怒.
不计算人的恶.
不喜欢不义.
只喜欢真理.
凡是包容.
凡是相信.
凡是盼望.
凡是忍耐.

爱是永不止息.

哥林多前书 13:4-8

Still got lots of time?

Yesterday morning I went to church as usual, but only with my blockmate Deborah. It's a quite meaningful meeting as we sang an african hymn song and we had a guest speaker coming. After church when going back, I chat with Deborah (Debby).

We chatted about trip to Amsterdam which will be happening next month. I told Debby that I don't have enough money so I won't be going as I'm depending on my family for financial support and I don't wanna waste parents' money to go for holiday. Then Debby told me that if it's her, she won't have any problems like that as her dad told her that if she wanna go visit anywhere, just go before it's too late, before she finish study... thoughtful. I tell Debby that I 10,000,000% agree what her dad told her, and told her that my parents are thinking the opposite way that I'll still have tonnes of time to go for holiday after I finish study and start work.

Debby's dad said that, a person with role as a father who said that. I can only agree because that's what I'm thinking always. My parents told me that I'll have tonnes of time going for holiday after I graduate and I'll be earning enough money to go play. But the fact is, LIFE GOES ON!

What does that mean? After I graduate, I'll start working, working means tonnes of overtime, my time will be occupied by job, and living needs, as I'll be living by myself. I'll have to pay everything by myself, pay debts, pay this and that. It's all about paying, and I'll only left some money left to be saved as emergency usage. Timewise, I'll spend it overtime, work, church, cook, laundry, maybe study part-time, grocery, etc. We won't know what will happen in our daily lives. After all this, do we still have time to go for holiday? maybe.. if only we're not organising a family. Again, LIFE GOES ON!

If it's going on normally, we'll be having girlfriend or boyfriend and be together several years, in that several years, we have to spend some money on them. of course! so.. money spend on them... after several years.. the 4 words "would u marry me" will appear (if guy). so, all savings spent again to get married, then go HONEYMOON, A HOLIDAY!! so.. savings start from the beginning again. WE STILL HAVE TO WORK! got a family now. assume that we plan and do everything we should to prevent pregnancy and did it, for the first few years of marriage, we don't have to spend money on children. BUT! we still have to pay for utilities, car loans, car expenses, housing loans, food, everything... then if both work, we can manage it together, then save some money for holiday, maybe by earning extra by overtime, but tax still kills. again but, of course a family is incomplete without children right?

Before baby born, money is spent again on wife to check this and that and do all procedures needed. money needed. after 9 months, baby born. TIME! MONEY! all spend on kids... as they grow up, we as parents have to pay for the best for our kids for everything right? so, no extra to go holiday again. no time to go holiday as LIFE STILL GOES ON! work, overtime, fetch kids, kids go school, boss don't allow leave... LIFE! at that time, maybe its around 40 years old already. We still have to save for children's further education which is not cheap! if got more than 1 child, then finish lo! hehe... we have to work for that money! no time to go holiday!

After children finish education, 55 years old. children's life will continue like us if we don't give them a chance to go for vacation on their own. 55 years old, are u gonna try something that will make ur heart jump out from ur body during your holiday? i bet u don't want unless ur body is still 25 yrs old condition... Can you fly here and there like when u're young? I don't think so. Do you still have money to go vacation after using all for your children's education? not sure. Feelings of vacation at 55 yrs old and 25 yrs old, will it be same? are u gonna go vacation with friends at 55 yrs old? or u rather go with your family? everyone will only be teenagers once in their life. Time flies.... u'll plan to go for holiday next year but next year will never come.

Anyway, this is all just assuming that we have a normal salary life unless we got high salary jobs with not using most of our time working overtime or overseas. how u gonna get that? working for ur dad? so, all teens out there, especially those who're studying overseas with limited financial support, go get urself a part time job and go vacation before ur study life ends and u'll regret for not going vacation with ur friends when u start working. Unless u're those who only knows study, eat and sleep. For those who can afford to use their parents money to go vacation, I got no comment.

So, after all the reading of the crap I wrote, what do you think? Do leave some comments if u got anything to say.